יאיר דיקמן yair dickmann

Dearest Friends

By now, you know that Thank G-d Ben's bone marrow results came back normal.  While still a path ahead, this is wonderful news we have prayed for.

These days for me are filled with endless tears.  Both of joy and gratitude, but also a flood of emotions which I held back to survive the three years (Jan 4.)

As I turn 50 years old in two days, I have much to take inventory of, process and be grateful for.  Praying every day for my sons survival has obviously impacted this preparation and prioritized my focus for three years.

I have thought a lot about Legacy, Friendship, Charity, Faith, Values and Responsibility.  I have held off until this day, to write about any of it, with absolute deference to Ben's survival and devotion to him and Daniella, and to Orly and I navigating this.  They are both such amazing children.  Now I intend to share much more, both with my close friends and others.

First and foremost, THANK YOU to every person who gave my son prayers and good thoughts, and every person who blessed me, my children, and Orly with friendship. That is the main objective of this email.

I will be writing a lot this year.  A few brief topics that I will be sharing more on:

Trauma

You only know what you can take when it hits you and I believe that G-d or some Universal order gives you just what you can take.  No trauma, no matter how devastating, exceeds the power of the resilience we are capable of commanding to face it.

Faith

Your first instinct will guide you when faith is needed.  For me it came in the first milliseconds and flowed from there.  We muster what we need.

Blessings

From the moment this happened, I experienced angelic kisses in moments for which I am deeply grateful.  These include genuinely magical experiences at the airport and on the flights home, throughout the hospitalizations, incredible moments of awareness and love from great friends and total strangers, the beautiful angelic Doctor Ben was blessed with at the beginning of this (who is copied), and of course, my own, our family, and both children's incredible resilience.

I look forward to sharing these blessings, like the strangers on the 26 hours of flights home and even the one movie I saw, to the transcending and cherished conversations I had with some of you, to the father of another child we came across at the beginning who I asked about often and ran into only two days ago and hugged.  In that hug, I knew he knew what I went thru and also that it would be alright.  Whether the hug with that total stranger, or a deep chat with my atheist dear friend Yair, I felt I was kissed by an Angel during a number of precious moments.  (Vinnie the dad just sent a text and Yair just called.)

Charity

Oye.  Too much to cover and do not want to appear angry.  Much more to come on this, but for now, with respect; give friendship, community and communication, real support and love, to real people facing trauma.  Do this before you put a nickel in a cancer related charity.

Love and Friendship

Nothing more powerful.  When it is real, you know it, and sadly sometimes in a trauma, you discover when it isn't.  From some of you in a hug, others showing up, others in communication and many with prayers, thank you thank you.

Lots of love,

Steven